Club Legend in Rongai is not a Legend after all……

A close friend whose popular band that had for a while been playing at Club Legend in Rongai influenced me to pay a visit, if only to dance to music by his band. I expected a club that could afford his fees to be on the league that offers the best in terms of products and services.

We landed there on a Sunday afternoon, with my better half and cousin. As they headed up to the upper terrace, i placed an order for our food that was to be ready in 45 minutes. The service at the kitchen was not so impressive. It took me more than 5 minutes to place an order, and there was no queue.

Up at the terrace, my guests just waited and no waiter came to serve them. I joined them and waited. After 10 minutes, we shouted at the barmaid in the counter who sent a reluctant waiter our way.

The order was simple, Alvaro, Coke and Water. The first two were OK. However, the water was a brand that seemed to have been packed at the club’s backyard. Worse, it had highly visible impurities, like tea leaves. My cousin who placed that order changed to Alvaro. For some reason, it also had impurities and she asked for another bottle. This one was fine. The waiter disappeared, of course we had paid cash.

We embarked on another wait for straws and glasses. Two of us resorted to ‘kiss’ our bottles and drink straight from them. My better half, who noted that the rag used to wipe the bottles, waited for a straw in vain. She later had to go for it from the counter.

We had no waiters at the terrace to serve us, so after 45 minutes, i had to dash downstairs into the kitchen to check on the meal. I was promised that it would be up in two minutes. It never came. I had to go down to the kitchen twice, and eventually make noise before we were finally served.

We left immediately thereafter, of course we were not given toothpicks. We never bothered to ask as those serving us should have reasoned that we needed some. I left club Legend knowing clearly that they do not understand what the term ‘Legend’ means. I promised myself never to step into the club again. Its a club i will never recommend to anyone. On a scale of 1 to 10, their service would score a paltry 2.

Dr. Alfred Mutua has a PHD (Permanent Head Damage)

Government Spokesman, Dr. Alfred Mutua never disappoints when it comes to making blunders. It seems like everything coming out of his mouth is meant to annoy Kenyans and make them hate the government more.

Obviously he had his view (or can we say the government’s view) of the hunger situation. In his opinion (or maybe the government’s), there is no food shortage. He (or the government….) says the means to get the food where its needed is the issue.

Kenyans on Twitter showed their love for the government spokesman. A quick search of the tweets mentioning Dr. Mutua immediately after his ‘popular’ comment was shocking. The hate kenyans have for him is unimaginable. Below is a sneak peek of some of the tweets:-

@nocksha2: Alfred mutua jinga

@iamngere: Dr Alfred mutua changes his slogan to ‘Najivunia kuua Mkenya’

@BoshidoBrown: Am praying to God to make Alfred mutua‘s death painful,akufe ata sahi

@Saisi_: Alfred Mutua makes me believe in God. There’s no way someone that stupid evolved from anything.

@McMwiti: If stupidity was being bought then Alfred Mutua is a smuggler

@njiiru: Alfred Mutua breaks the padlock which the city council officers had put on his brains for parking them at normal people lane

@RosemissTaylor I bet this stone can reason beta than Alfred Mutua.

@JaredKidambi: Dear God, Please give us back Osama Bin Laden, Adolf Hitler & Sadam Husein and in return take Alfred Mutua, Amen!

@kim_ntongai; I think Alfred Mutua is looking for attention. He’ll sleep with a smile tonight now that everybody is talking about him.

@N_melly: To alfred mutua figging is foreplay! So îs death to him

@Chizmaxim: I Think Alfred Mutua is a perfect character for South Park…’No Kenyan dies of hunger ‘

@Murkomenstanley: my teacher told me to xplain the proverb “empty bins make the loudest noise” the name Alfred Mutua was enough

@NdeithiKariuki: Alfred Mutua, you are a monkey! #thatisall

@magicmwangi “I must once again remind Kenyans that no Kenyan has died from hunger. It is death that is killing Kenyans” Alfred Mutua

@roomthinker: Alfred Mutua no longer needs a parody account.

@Mwanikih: Alfred Mutua says no Kenyan has died from starvation? I’m patient with stupidity but not those who are proud of it!

@Tindikitindi:Alfred Mutua is the governments exhaust pipe ati no kenyan has died #DumbAss #Kenyans4Kenya

@mokayah: So according to Alfred Mutua the images we are seeing have been photoshoped? #indiot> KABISA

@mainneli: Alfred Mutua is just a Dumb Puppet,a Sewage Drainage system that try to spew Political garbage to Kenyans.

@RobertAlai: #AlfredMutua : Any Kenyans who have died of hunger should immediately report to me – Dr. Alfred Mutua, E.B.S. PHD

So to be in the mix, i posted the following update on my facebook profile: NOTICE: If you recently died of hunger or starvation, kindly contact Govt Spokesman, Dr. Alfred Mutua for assistance. If no one contacts Dr. Mutua, then his claim that no one has died of hunger is TRUE.

My Facebook friends did not have any kind words as evident in the replies below:

• Leander Davidslol!!! dat ka gava spokesman is always enclosed nkt

  23 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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  Rachael SyombuaIts such a shame the govt has closed eyes to the ongoing drought in d country why wont he just stay silent rather than letting himself sound so senseless

  23 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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  Edwyne MwamburiEenh!funny,what if a message is sent,ha ha ha

  23 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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  Salome Candida Jamesathat dude is the definition of retarded.i hope him n his croonies are hit by lightening.

  23 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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  Lucy Lawrence JumbaHe wants the dead to tell him why they died and yet there is food in kenya! F*** him. I almost hit my TV when I saw him give those nonsensical speeches of his.

  21 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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  Michael RunoHe is a national disgrace and a colossal buffoon!

  21 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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  Steve AmirThat Mutua rat is so disgusting. Could he be One of God’s curse to Kenya?…

  13 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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  Tabbs Wangari Hehehehe…woie people i guess his speach was in the ‘any other duties that may be assigned to you’…

And a more creative colleague in the office thought of a way Kenyans can have a positive outlook to their day. He came up with a recipe that maybe used to vent out some of the anger. The procedure was as below and results were 100% guaranteed:

HOW TO START THIS DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK1. Open a new file in your computer.
2. Name it “Alfred Mutua”.
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you. “Do you really want to get rid of ” Alfred Mutua?”
6. Firmly Click “Yes.”
7. Feel better?

For me, i think he gives new meaning to the term PHD, he has Permanent Head Damage.